It always seems impossible until it’s done.
Nelson Mandela
The last few days have been exhausting. I’ve worked three days straight, which probably doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for the world’s biggest introvert who works in an extremely social setting, it’s definitely a mental struggle.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love my job, and I was extremely lucky that I was given such an opportunity, but that doesn’t make it any less stressful. It can sometimes feel as though you can never catch a break, and even the simplest of tasks can seem impossible when no one is communicating with each other.
On top of that, three 6 hour shifts when you don’t have a chance to sit down is absolute hell for your feet, it doesn’t even let up when you lay down in bed at the end of the day. And I know, I know ‘people have it worse’ and ‘you shouldn’t complain’, but honestly, I don’t care. It may not seem difficult to you, but it is to me, and you do not get to invalidate me for it. Work is still a new thing for me, it’s only been a few months. I’m still getting used to going from sitting in my room by myself all day everyday doing nothing (except going to school) to having to constantly talk to people, socialise, and pretend that I’m not dying for a full nights sleep. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for people doing 8+ hour shifts – I think I’d lose my mind.
And then there’s school. I’ve always been told I’m a ‘pleasure to teach’ – I’m not bragging, I’m just a quiet person with crippling anxiety which definitely isn’t helped by having to speak up in class. But teachers never seem to understand that.
It’s a constant pressure to keep up the good reputation, especially when you don’t have a clue what you are supposed to be doing in class. It’s even harder when you have shitty teachers/tutors who only ‘help’ you by telling you to research the same thing you’ve been looking at for the past 30 minutes. And then there’s those who just tell you to google it when you tell them you don’t understand a question on the assignment.
One particularly negative experience comes from a close friend of mine. We have a similar issue where we struggle to read off of white paper, and when she expressed her need for the research document to be a different colour and for the font to be changed, she was told by our least favourite teacher that she needed to go out of her way to copy and paste the entire 11 page document into word and change it herself (which she had to do one paragraph at a time). Then when she asked which particular parts she needed, she was told to ‘figure it out yourself’ and the teacher walked away before she could even finish her sentence. Great advice, right? Real helpful.
On the other hand, there is one ‘down with the kids’ teacher who is the absolute best. And to be honest, I sympathise with him as the younger students haven’t exactly been easy on him. He’s not a push over, but they treat him like shit – there’s not even a reason for it (not that I condone treating people badly in any situation). He will always go the extra mile to try and make your life easier, especially when it comes to mental health – he is the ONLY person who truly understands the need to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. On top of that, when you ask for help, he will give you vague advice so that you can do it independently, then if you are still struggling, he will be very in-depth and tell you pretty much exactly what you need to do. I appreciate the hell out of him.
That leaves the emotions I’m feeling about the upcoming Monday. I have both of these teachers, which means I am both dreading it, but also not too worried. Who knows if that actually makes any sense to anyone but me? The biggest downside is the two-hour period in between those classes. What the hell am I supposed to do? We all know that the temptation to go home will be immense…but I really should push through and see it to the end. But I guess that will be a problem for Monday – I wont make any promises until I know how I’m feeling on the day.
Thankyou for reading, I hope it was enjoyable (or at least a little interesting)
– The Working Student.
The Working Student 